I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
