Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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