At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
