Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
