Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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