I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
