I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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