Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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