Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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