ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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