I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
