operation harelip BJ is a go
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
