He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
