So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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