I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
