Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
