Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
