apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
