he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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