careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
