Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When are your genitals available?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
