I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
