So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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