some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
