yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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