It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
