yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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