i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
