my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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