I want you more than these girls want KFC
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
