I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
