Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
