Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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