Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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