im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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