That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
