i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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