Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
