Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
