butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
