There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
