How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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