Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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