I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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