wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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