Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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