I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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