i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My dad is sitting where you rode me
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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