The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
