she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
