Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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