he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
