OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
